


Once More, With Feeling

by Jianre_M



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Action/Adventure, Humor, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jianre_M/pseuds/Jianre_M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you could start your life over, knowing how things could turn out, what would you do differently? Cloud is offered this chance, and tries to change the future, but he quickly discovers that fate and destiny play a high stakes game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Travel Plans

Once More, With Feeling... – Chapter 1: Travel Plans

Summary: Cloud is offered the chance to change the past… it’s not an easy road to take. 

Author: Illusor Meaneld

Rated T: for Descriptive violence and injuries, No Adult Situations, No Cussing. 

Disclaimer: I did not create, and do not own the characters from Final Fantasy 7, They are owned by Square-Enix, and I am simply borrowing them for my own (and hopefully your) enjoyment. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

105 years old … Cloud mused to himself, staring distractedly into the fireplace. Much like Vincent, and Shelke, the blond “Hero” didn’t look his age in the slightest. Clear blue eyes glinted in the firelight, smooth, youthful skin, barely hinting at adulthood without the harsher structure of true maturity, and of course, his signature blond locks, just as gravity-defying as ever. He had long since ceased to worry about his hair, and it had grown decently long over the years, the spikes jutting down past his shoulder-blades in places. One hundred and five long years of existence… Cloud Strife, sighed and stretched, limbering his muscles absent-mindedly, pacing through his house without even paying attention, he retrieved his sword, a simple one-piece blade this time. Tidied what little disorder he managed to create in the average morning and stepped out the door to “work”.

These days, Cloud spent his time hunting monsters, (it was sometimes quite lucrative.) Tending to the rare chocobos he’d bred, and sparring with Vincent and Shelke whenever either of them passed his way. Today, Cloud’s face lit with a rare smile as he spotted the deep red fur and fiery tail of Nanaki. The Blood-lion grinned back, baring fangs,

“It’s been too long, hasn’t it Cloud?” Nanaki purred, 

“Yes, it has old friend, what have you been up to lately?” Cloud smiled as Nanaki rubbed his jaw affectionately against the blonde’s thigh. They walked and talked, hunting monsters together nostalgically, reminiscing about old friends, all of the other original AVALANCHE team had passed away, … that was to be expected after such a long time, neither Barrett nor Cid had been particularly young when the adventures had started, Tifa never did have kids of her own, but had loved the orphaned children. Yuffie passed on her heritage to future generations in Wutai eventually, but the Ninja’s propensity for mischief had eventually gotten the better of her, when age began slowing her down. Reeve ran out of Cait Sith dolls, and Rufus Shinra’s health never fully recovered. Nanaki, once known as “Red 13” had taken over the care of Cosmo Canyon after Bugenhagen had finally passed on the torch. It had been a long road, but Cloud felt he was content. The others didn’t bother him about the lack of company he kept, they all understood. He was laughing by the time Nanaki had to leave, with a good-bye nod and a flick of his tail, the noble creature made his way back home. 

This was how it should be, Cloud decided, the world continued to do what needed to be done, his life was full of comfortable habit, nothing lacking …. Now if only he could convince her of that. 

That night found Cloud in a familiar dreamscape, one almost as comfortable as the home he had built for himself. He sat in the field of flowers, smiling gently as she approached, it was always the same way. He even spared a nod for the man who followed in her wake. 

“Good Evening Aeris,” Cloud murmured respectfully, “It’s good to see you.” And it was, like all of his friends, the flower girl did not change with time. Even though her reasons were different, everyone ceased to age once they left the land of the living.

“Hey, Spikey.” Zack greeted, a smile twisted his lips but his tone was solemn, Cloud missed the upbeat greeting he used to get from his raven-haired mentor. 

“Cloud,…” Aeris began slowly, “You’re not really happy,… are you Cloud?” 

The blonde shrugged, “I think I’m happy Aeris, … I mean, … I’m not UN-happy. I enjoy my house, it’s comfortable, I make a good living at what I do, and I talk to the others when they stop by. It’s … pleasant.” He smiled reassuringly at both of them, but they were unconvinced.

“Cloud, that’s not what I mean… you’re HEALTHY, and you’re WELL… but you’re not really ‘Happy’. You’re just existing… we were hoping that it would get better, … Sephiroth was defeated long ago, and all the pieces were there for you to pick up…. But you never did. It’s like something was missing, and we could never fix that.”

“Missing?” Cloud frowned, he was happy… wasn’t he? At least he liked to believe he was… 

“Missing from your fundamental structure, Spike,” Zack interjected smoothly, “Aeris and Mother Gaia think that maybe you were just too emotionally scarred … that you’d lost too much.”

“They say that time heals all wounds… but sometimes it’s just not enough.” Aeris finished.

Cloud heaved a sigh, the two of them seemed to worry about him all the time these days, trying to coax him to interact more with others, or to do something more adventurous with his days, this was the first he’d heard of their “Happiness” theory though… 

“I’m not sure what you want me to do then.” Cloud finally admitted, “I don’t want to do anything different, there never seems much point, but how would one go about changing something like that?” Zack and Aeris exchanged a glance, 

“We have a proposition,” she began, a true smile beginning to light her features. 

“It was the planet’s idea” the Ex-SOLDIER amended, 

\--------------------------

“So basically, they want to send me back in time… to an Alternate Reality, where these things haven’t happened yet.” Cloud finished explaining, Vincent and Shelke exchanged a glance before raising an eyebrow each in his direction. 

“That sounds like a bad movie waiting to happen.” Shelke muttered, 

“Alternate Reality?” Vincent’s eyebrow remained pointedly raised. 

Cloud sighed, “I know it sounds weird, … they had to explain a lot of it to me too. Basically there are other worlds with our story unfolding…” Cloud struggled to remember the particular descriptions Aeris had given him, when he was awake, his memory was impeccable. … but his dreams, even those with Aeris and Zack tended to slip away from him. “Time doesn’t pass the same way in these worlds… so they found one from while I was still young, before the whole Sephiroth Crisis, before Nibelheim… before almost all of it!” He glanced apologetically at Vincent, it wasn’t before HIS tragedy… The gunman shrugged stoically, silently banishing any worry of discontent. 

“Are you going to go then?” Shelke asked, 

“I’m not sure yet…” the blonde scratched the back of his head, deep in thought. “It’s a big decision… I mean, after all I’ve done here…”

“Go, Cloud.” Vincent interrupted.

“What?” Cloud was taken aback at how quickly Vincent dismissed him.

“You’ve never really forgotten, or forgiven yourself.” The gunman clarified, 

“Aeris is right, ... you’re not happy here.” Shelke agreed. 

“But I… If… what… What would I DO there?” The blonde was simply flabbergasted, and feeling perhaps a little betrayed. 

“Stop Hojo of course.” The young girl responded immediately, followed by a nod from her taller counterpart.

“Hojo? … not Sephiroth?” 

Shelke snorted, “Of course Hojo, … Sephiroth would never have become what he did without that madman.” 

Cloud hesitated, when he had brought up the subject of Aeris’ suggestion to the two travelers, he had somehow expected that they would encourage him to stay… after all, he was the only one besides them who would remain ageless, the only of their friends who could stay forever. … But thinking further, he wondered if they would take the chance he was given, the blonde’s gaze drifted speculatively to Vincent, … in a heartbeat he decided… the ex-Turk would die all over again if he could stop the atrocities from happening to Lucretia, the swordsman glanced at Shelke, her? Not so much,… she had what she needed, and she honestly seemed happy in her work. Cloud heaved a sigh, it wouldn’t be easy, that much was certain… he had grown complacent in his routine, … though he was certainly fit and agile… the best swordsman on the Planet. He remained silent for a long time, finally resting his gaze on Shelke, 

“How should I stop Hojo?” 

The young cyborg smiled slowly, “Can you memorize everything I’m about to tell you Cloud…?”

\--------------------------

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, … it wasn’t like he’d done anything like a time-dimensional shift before. Aeris and Zack met him in his dreams like always, and when he told them his decision, he had to admit he loved seeing both of their faces light up in those brilliant happy smiles he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. After that they simply asked him to lay down and sleep. Relaxing amongst Aeris’ flowers was surprisingly easy, but ‘sleeping’ while he was technically dreaming made him chuckle. After a few bouts of teasing with Zack, he finally managed to settle down, and much to his surprise, he drifted to sleep… again. 

\--------------------------

The next morning Cloud woke to pure darkness, with a cry he panicked, touching his fingers to his face and eyes to make sure everything was unharmed, there was no blindfold, nothing obstructing, … the room was just dark… TOO dark… after several precious moments he finally realized why, … his eyes weren’t glowing! Even in the deepest cave he wasn’t blind, his eyes glowed, ever so slightly illuminating his surroundings, his Mako-enhanced vision could pick out the details of any room, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen pure darkness. A shout both too close, and muffled by the walls jolted the blonde from his thoughts, 

“Oi, Kid! Ya asked meh ta wake yeh! Dun be late for the Shen-rah exahmes.” A harsh voice came through the door, a meaty hand thudding against it’s surface once more. 

“K-kay!” Cloud squeaked, startling himself further as his voice caught and broke, he strained to hear the retreated footsteps, another thing that should have been easy, he breathed deeply, trying to slow his pounding heart. What was going on? By the Cetra! What had … … Cloud spat a curse, filling the silence with a few choice expletives, “by the Cetra” indeed. So he’d come back in time then? Time and Dimension, he reminded himself, piecing together the accent he’d heard through the door his eyes widened, “Don’t be late for the Shin-Ra exams.” The man had said,… Exams? … So he wasn’t even a Cadet yet… what time did those even start? … For that matter, what time was it NOW? He fumbled his way around the dark room, painfully bumping into every unfamiliar object in the even more unfamiliar room. He was sure he would be just one large bruise by the time he finally managed to turn on the light. 

The room was small, but furnished, and now that he was paying attention there was that sterile, well-vacuumed smell one commonly found in hotels. There was a watch on the side table that read 5:30 am, earlier perhaps than he used to get up, but nothing that should have been too difficult. At least, not to his OLD body, he mentally grumbled as a jaw-cracking yawn split his face without warning. He staggered to the bathroom, desperate for a look In the mirror, and moments later wished he hadn’t. A pale, frightened-looking boy looked back at him, he couldn’t have been more than 13 or 14, … shorter than he could even remember being, (though of course he must have been this height before.) he barely seemed to clear 5 foot. Wide blue eyes so clear and pale Cloud gasped at them. But most agonizing was the scrawny awkward limbs, no visible muscles anywhere they should be, and so many bones poking out at odd angles he wondered how he even moved with any semblance of coordination! 

A few moments later, Cloud firmly decided there WASN’T any semblance of coordination, the term “all knees and elbows” was never so painfully clear, as those particular joints seemed to magnet themselves to every sharp and possibly harmful surface with disturbing accuracy. He was grabbing up the few possessions he decided must be his, a duffle bag with clothing he blanched at, obviously he’d been deprived of any kind of common sense, … or fashion sense for that matter, he winced at a pair of “chocobo pajamas”, morbidly curious as to whether he had actually LIKED such things at this age. Thankfully Cloud’s agony was interrupted when the Hotel Manager pounded on his door again, eagerly telling him he needed to leave right away if he were going to make the Exams. After picking up a piece of paper he’d located that specified the times and places of the Shin-Ra Examinations, Cloud hefted his duffle, sighed at the weight of it, straightened his thin shoulders and with determination beyond his tender years, strode out of his room, and away from the establishment. 

\--------------------------


	2. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boot-Camp, the second time around, was simply exhausting!

Cloud had to pause and gape for a moment at the sight of Midgar, It had gone from being a gigantic ruin, slowly being over-run by vegetation, to the bustling metropolis Cloud only saw in old videos. He honestly hadn’t remembered the pressing crowds or the permeating smells, it was all so new and foreign that he felt adrenaline bubbling up in excitement, he relished in the strangeness as he walked, studying the map on the flyers he held. Thankfully his younger self had kept all of the advertisements, forms and any other paperwork pertaining to the day, blessed preparedness to Cloud, since his memory of this event was just not crisp enough after 90+ years. Once he was certain he knew where he was, and which way he was going, Cloud broke into a jog, when his face suddenly connected with the pavement, he had a long moment of shock. A quick glance around assured him he hadn’t been tripped, no pickpockets or cracks in the sidewalk he’d been too distracted to notice. No he had simply fallen on his face… for no reason he could discern. The people around him were starting to send glances his way, so Cloud hastily picked himself up, brushed the dirt and small rocks from his clothing and tried again. This time he was paying more attention, and so noticed when his feet rebelliously refused to do as he asked and the ground greeted him enthusiastically once more. Hopping quickly to his feet proved equally disastrous as he staggered into a nearby pile of trashcans for his efforts. By now people were staring, what was he DOING? With a deep breath to calm his mind, and intense focus, Cloud rose carefully, picked up the duffel bag he’d accidentally dropped, and started off again at a walk.

He paid strict attention to his every movement as he made his way down the street. It was an agonizing pace considering he was short on time to make the exams, but face planting ate far more time than walking. After a couple of blocks he figured out what the problem was, what should have been a “comfortable” stride, was stretching his legs far enough to make the muscles ache, and he tottered with lack of balance at each step. What in the world? Why couldn’t he walk right? He tried correcting his steps but only succeeded in swaying alarmingly, his arms jerking up in an instinctive attempt to compensate, which only seemed to make things worse. Silently mouthing a few choice curses, Cloud took a mental step back. Why would his balance be all off? Surely he was used to walking… … in a body that was 5’7”. Gads he was slow today, at the bare five-foot whatever he reached right now, his legs were shorter, the subconscious motions he’d honed over the last century were all screwed up. With a heavy sigh he tried a different method, a “marching jog” is what Yuffie had nicknamed it, short swift steps that were designed for endurance more than speed, but it was faster than walking. The pacing was still awkward, he tripped over his own feet more than once on his way, but somehow he managed to make it to the Shinra building before the doors were closed to new recruits. 

Cloud was panting heavily, rubbing his sore legs while looking over the other excited youths crowded nervously in the room. He wasn’t surprised that he didn’t remember a single face, but Cloud had long since developed a soft spot for kids, and he smothered a smile at all their bright and eager eyes, it made him want to hand out candy or something. He had to choke down a chuckle when he remembered they were probably all about his age right now anyways. The blonde forced himself to walk around the room, stretching his abused young muscles despite their protests. While he paced he pulled out his paperwork, this time studying his application forms, memorizing dates and information his older brain had pushed into some mildewed corner somewhere. He was amused to note that the date for today was the same as it had been in his own world. Chuckling, he continued to study, however, it was only after he was going over the page for a third time that he caught it, and almost blurted aloud his younger self’s mistake, It says I’m fourteen, … but I shouldn’t fourteen for two more weeks! He double-checked the birth date and the current date twice more to affirm his suspicion. I lied about my age! What a little rat I was! He gawped, and then slowly snickered at the over-sensitive kid he must have been, small for his age, hailing from a middle-of-nowhere town, delicate looks and no strength, heavens but it reminded him of prickly little Denzel when the boy had reached teenage-hood. He was still reminiscing over the boy Tifa had adopted when they started calling names. It was done in alphabetical order, and most of the young recruits tried in vain to hide the evidence of their fear and nerves. Cloud was watching on with faint amusement right until he overheard one young lad ask another about test questions. Test questions? The ex-warrior snapped quickly into full wakefulness, what kind of test questions? For several moments he worried about blundering through said questions… When had they discovered which medicines? Did they know about enhanced Summoning yet? He wracked his brain to try and place events in order, and so he was sufficiently nerve-wracked when the young Officer at the door called, 

“Cloud Strife?” 

Standing a little too quickly, Cloud stumbled towards the door, “Sir.” 

“This way.” 

He followed as quickly as he dared, but his guide still ended up waiting for him when they reached their destination. Cloud proceeded to the indicated desk, where a paper and pencil already awaited him. Nervously he scanned the questions, there were several history questions and medical questions he noticed much to his dismay. But after a few deep breaths he forced himself to concentrate.

Moments later Cloud was almost laughing at his own nervousness, the questions practically pointed to their own answers, if you read them right it wasn’t hard to figure out what they were looking for, the wording of the problems gave them away, and the essays were similarly written. He had an issue once when he almost wrote about a particular storm in Junon that hadn’t happened yet. But with a sigh and a smile he realized his mind was well up to the task. When he handed his paper in to the guardian at the door, he was confident he had passed. As he tripped his way out the door he decided something needed to be done about his BODY being up to the task. 

\--------------------------

After the “possible recruits” had been weeded into “Cadets-In-Training” all the newest Shinra personnel were escorted to their room and shown their individual bunks and storage. It WAS just a single room, with two rows of bunk-beds evenly spaced along the lengths of both walls, at the foot of each bunk was two small storage boxes. They would all share this room, sleep listening to each other, and train with each other through the “boot camp” of Shinra. That first day they were shown around the compound, escorted by a couple of Troopers, and very pointedly told where they could and could not go. They were issued two sets of uniforms each, with the instructions to keep their own laundry clean. It was explained that in addition to physical fitness tests and training, all recruits would be tested further on their more mundane knowledge skills, and any who proved lacking would have to take additional classes to make up the slack. Finally, by the days end they were escorted to their bunker, and ordered to sleep. Cloud carefully stowed his gear in the chest he had been assigned, and crawled into his bunk. He reviewed the day with a strange sense of fascination. It was like an all-new adventure! He had run out of places he’d wanted to explore after nearly a century, but this was absolutely thrilling. Carefully quelling the sudden giddy urge to giggle, the blonde carefully pondered the events of the afternoon, the information he’d been given said he BARELY passed the height and weight requirements to get in. There didn’t seem to be an age limit, but his young self had lied anyways. Some rumor of unofficial age-limits perhaps? Oh well, it would be just as easy to say he was fourteen as thirteen, which meant not easy at all since he still thought of himself as a solid century old…

The Shinra “boot-camp” lasted exactly four weeks. It was half evaluations, and half grueling torture. As he expected, Cloud managed to ace the written tests with flying colors, a quick glance through the library computers had refreshed him on his “history” and with his veteran mind he simply breezed through the general education qualifiers. His check through the computer databases also told him with horrifying accuracy what kinds of physical evaluations he’d have to pass to get into the units he wanted. Shinra had a number of different factions, each of which had to be specifically trained, based on one’s performance during Boot-Camp, a recruit was placed into a corresponding unit. There was standard Military, (or “cannon-fodder” as the Turks called them,) the SOLDIER-Preparation Classes, Pilot-training, and Special Operations. (which the Turks heavily recruited from.) Obviously Cloud wanted SOLDIER Prep. He seemed to remember the last time that he’d been put through a year of Standard Military before making it into SOLDIER prep. And now, as he read over the requirements for the S.P. class he blanched, for one thing every S.P. Cadet had to be capable of 1,000 push ups, a 10 mile cross-country march in full gear, and a 5,000 meter endurance swim. Cloud dropped to the floor and was dismayed to find his arms shaking and burning after a mere 6 push-ups. This was definitely going to be a nightmare.

Cloud adjusted more quickly than the others to early rising, but after drowning during the first swim test, and collapsing (several times) during the run. He had a hard time suppressing the despair. From what he had researched, even if he failed to pass the test to get into S.P. he could reapply in six months, but that tempting idea was quickly discarded. No, he needed to get into the program now, in order to implement his plans to torment a certain ugly, balding scientist… metaphorically tightening his belt the blonde put his all into training his body. He did push ups until the very last moments, he scarfed his food at meal-times so he could get back to the grounds more quickly, he briefly considered doing more push-ups in bed, but decided sleep was equally important. 

During the first week, Cloud’s face became intimately acquainted with all of the rocks in the hills around the training grounds. By the third week, he had given them all names. As the fourth week began, the young Cadet agonized; he just wasn’t progressing fast enough! Having to relearn everything had pushed him back even further behind the other recruits, and he had already been trailing them when he started. The final tests would be at the end of the week, and as it was Cloud could barely manage 400 push-ups with determination. His body was a constant ache, and his reactions always seemed sluggish. As the remaining days passed by he firmly squashed the rearing depression. He NEEDED to get into the SOLDIER Prep. It was absolutely essential!

\--------------------------


	3. Agony and Errantry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were three tests to pass, three hefty qualifications to meet; is Cloud up to the task?

The Evaluations began on Friday, The evening before they had been given a couple of free hours for preparation or extra sleep if they needed it. Now was when the real competition began. The tests were done in two shifts; half of the Recruits took their written tests in the morning, while their bunk-mates took the physicals. Then the two groups switched places in the afternoon. The tests spanned three days, So that recovery was possible between each of the grueling exams. Cloud was in the second group, his physical tests would be first. So it was with a distinctive feeling of dread that the blond dragged himself out to the field on Friday morning. He knew he wasn’t ready, at his previous best he hadn’t managed half the number of push-ups he needed to pass. When he’d signed the paper to try out for SOLDER Prep., His instructors had smiled pityingly. 

“So you want to be in SOLDIER eh boys?” The test instructor bellowed down the line of recruits at attention. “Let’s see if you have what it takes! Drop and give me a thousand! Anyone who gives up, or can’t finish isn’t cut out for SOLDIER!” 

With the motions drilled into him over the past four weeks Cloud dropped to the ground. Counting mentally so as to keep his breath as best as possible. By the time he reached 300 he was sweating profusely, his face was red from the blood flow, and he panted, breathing the dirt as he went down. Somehow he managed to reach 600, his arms were quivering, and tears streamed from his eyes with the exertion. Determined to make the cut he kept going, at 800 he could no longer feel his arms, his legs were a constant shooting pain from his toes to his hips. Sheer willpower kept him going, when the officer counting for him hit 1,000… Cloud never heard it; a hand on his shoulder told him he was done. They had to help him off the ground. 

After a brief pause for lunch, he was half-dragged into the room where his written test was taking place. He’d finished his push-ups later than the other boys, and the test instructor in this room eyed his ashen face with mild concern. He spent the next 5 minutes remembering how his fingers worked, and with shaking hands he filled out the papers before him. Even with his belated start, he finished before the other students. Staggering to the front of the room to hand it in, and wandering sluggishly in the direction of his bed. He stood by his bunk fumbling to unbutton the first button on his shirt for a full minute before he simply gave up, and collapsed on top of everything, falling into oblivion-like sleep almost immediately. 

The next morning Cloud woke impossibly sore, every motion sent waves of pain all over his body. He tottered over to the showers, put the spray on as hot as he could stand and agonizingly tried to stretch out the stiffness. There was little he could do about the pain, he’d overworked his muscles, they would need to recover, but he could try at least to minimize how much MORE damage he inflicted today. He managed to scarf down breakfast, which he couldn’t remember tasting later, and blearily lurched to the pools. Here they did more preparation stretches, and Cloud wasn’t the only one stifling his groans. As his group lined up on the diving stands the blond stubbornly squashed his horror. There was NO failure option! He told himself firmly, He HAD to pass! Pass or die… the morbid portion of his mind added. As the shot from the gun rang out Cloud and his companions dove into the pool, his muscles had quieted to a dull whimper as he began his laps, trying to establish as even a rhythm as possible. His body was screaming at him again in no time, and it was a struggle to keep up his pace. By the end of this test he felt he was breathing as much water as air, and had long since lost track of whatever his feet were doing. It was only by watching his arms that he knew they were moving in some semblance of a stroke. Again, he had to be helped up. He finished his written test in a water-logged haze, (though he knew it was still done well.) and too full on chlorine to possibly eat anything he hit the bunk again and was instantly deep in dreamless slumber. 

One of his bunk-mates had to shake him out of bed the next morning, and a second boy guided him to the showers before breakfast. Cloud couldn’t remember eating, though he knew he must have. The next thing he was aware of, he was strapped down with a heavy pack and standing in line behind the rest of the boys in his group while an officer explained the rules of the test again. This test had all of the recruits; there were only two written tests so there could be enough time to devote to the cross-country trek. This was the exam he’d been dreading. … The only one of the three evaluations that was TIMED, he would fail if he couldn’t keep up a specified pace, and Cloud had always come in at least a 30 minutes later than the others during practice. When the other recruits started moving, he knew the test had started. With a heavy sigh and a grunt he forced himself to jog after them. At first he just tried to focus on pacing himself. He couldn’t afford to use up all his energy in the beginning, he’d never make it to the end. He had carefully tried to plot out just how fast he would have to go during each segment to make the cut. … He knew he wasn’t nearly fast enough. 

When he reached the One-Quarter mark, he was exhausted, with a glance at his watch he also realized he was five minutes behind his planned schedule. Tightening the straps on his backpack he forced himself to pick up the pace, he chose another boy ahead of him who seemed to be going about as fast as he wanted to be and tried to match his speed. 

As Cloud made it to the half-way mark he was half-blind from sweat and every breath felt like sandpaper in his throat. His watch told him he was still 5 minutes behind, With a wheeze and a growl he moved faster still. His legs had gone mostly numb, allowing just enough feeling through for stabbing pain with every step. 

At the Three-Quarter mark Cloud had ceased paying any attention to his surrounding beyond ensuring his feet were following the path. He dared not stop, for he knew he would never move again if he did. The numbers on his watch indicated he was still 3 minutes behind. He wracked his brain, if he pushed faster now, he would never have the strength for the sprint at the end. As it was he could barely keep moving. His pace quickened, blind to all else he staggered unerringly towards his goal. 

At 700 yards out he could see the big clock, he had 5 minutes left, already the boys near the end were sprinting. Cloud felt leaden, his legs were moving robotically now, there was no way he could make it! He couldn’t move any faster! The clock ticked down to four minutes … Cloud leaned forward, dug his feet in to start running and…..

Cloud woke up to the sound of voices above him. And a cold, wet cloth pressed to his forehead. 

“Hey kid, are you alright? Kid? Can you hear me?”

“Strife?” There were vague shapes hovering over him when he opened his eyes. “You there Strife?” 

“Gnnnn” Cloud answered, he could see the blue sky with clouds passing overhead, though he was laying on a cot in the shade. 

“Oh Thank the Cetra!” Cloud’s clearing consciousness identified the voice as belonging to a young-man. “I was sure I was going to have to bury you.” What had happened? Cloud wondered, he remembered trying to run, had he tripped on a rock so close to the finish? Had he knocked himself out?? Blinking in attempt to bring the world to focus Cloud tried to speak, croaked a groan and tried again. It was only after the youth helping him gave him water that he managed intelligible words. 

“…make it?” He muttered, “Did… did I make it?” The nameless officer stared at him, and then started to laugh, for a moment despair overwhelmed him, his eyes began to sting. 

“Good heavens, BARELY kid! Though I swear we should have a rule about being ALIVE when you pass the finish line.” He continued to clean the sweat from Cloud’s face. “Welcome to SOLDIER Prep. Cadet! Though with someone as close as you came we often recommend waiting six months anyways. Your written test scores were really good though, so we’re letting you in if you want.” 

Cloud tried to manage a smile, he had no idea how well he succeeded since he couldn’t feel his face. “I made it…” He breathed, he could hardly believe it himself! Maybe the planet had helped somehow, the idea amused him.

“Didn’t think you were going to.” The young man added, “That’s the closest call I’ve ever seen.” Cloud rasped a chuckle with him. The officer picked up Cloud’s limp hand, “My name is Corporal Jenkins.” His brown eyes flashed, and a grin spread across his face when Cloud feebly squeezed in response.

“… Cloud … Strife…”

“Private Strife,” the Corporal’s smile diminished, “In all truth, I’m not sure you’re ready for the S.P. program. The physical demands are the highest of any section…” Cloud frowned, “BUT!” the Officer added hastily, “Your test scores and intelligence are more than enough to place you easily in Special Ops! I’m sure you’d become a Turk in just a few years, and…!” 

“No.” The blond Private declined firmly, “I want to be in SOLDIER.” 

“It’s your hell kid, just don’t kill yourself.” Jenkins shook his head slowly. 

Later that evening, Cloud lay in his bunk, incapable of moving, and finally paused to think about what the Corporal had suggested. Cloud, a Turk? … The thought of him in a Blue Suit had him chuckling for hours. 

\--------------------------

The suggestion of going into Special Ops instead was slightly less amusing the next morning when Cloud was dragged into the infirmary. He’d severely strained a number of muscles, and his joints had swelled up from abuse. The next three days he spent recovering from his exertions. He wasn’t the only one being treated, which was a relief, but he was the only one in the hospital who’d made it to SOLDIER Prep. 

When he was finally released, Cloud was directed to his new quarters and his new roommates. S.P. candidates were given much smaller rooms, as there tended to be less people in each group. Cloud had made it in with 10 other boys, 11 had passed out of the 60 who applied. They also knew that even though they’d made it into S.P. only one or two of them might make SOLDIER itself. The room could hold 15 people. So there was a few more beds than they strictly needed. Cloud distributed his few belongings into his new, larger possession locker, and nodded to the other boys. Corporal Jenkins had pointed out that they hadn’t expected Cloud to be so determined… the rest of the recruits who’d aimed for S.P. had formed a little niche amongst their peers... Cloud had never joined them. In all truth he hadn’t been paying much attention, he was so determined to improve his strength he’d spent his every waking moment striving for that goal. So he wasn’t surprised when the other Privates eyed him warily. 

“Hello, I’m Private Strife, … but you can call me Cloud if you want.” There were several grunts and half-hearted introductions around the room. Cloud offered them all a smile and a nod. Young boys were usually shy, and he hadn’t really tried to get to know them before so he really couldn’t blame them for their reticence. He settled into his bunk, and spent a while mapping out the bottom of the empty bed over him. He’d made it, he was glad to see he could get something done when he really wanted to, the blissful feeling of accomplishment was so startling, he’d forgotten what it felt like. He grinned at himself, it was only going to get harder from here! Now the real trials would begin… Cloud was really looking forward to it!

\--------------------------


	4. Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud’s first day in SOLDIER Prep. And already things are out of hand…

Once More, With Feeling... – Chapter 4: Familiar Faces 

Summary: Cloud’s first day in SOLDIER Prep. And already things are out of hand…

Author: Illusor Meaneld

Rated T: for Descriptive violence and injuries, No Adult Situations, No Cussing. 

Disclaimer: I did not create, and do not own the characters from Final Fantasy 7, They are owned by Square-Enix, and I am simply borrowing them for my own (and hopefully your) enjoyment. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

On the first ‘official’ morning of “SOLDIER Preparation” class, Cloud woke feeling surprisingly refreshed, there was still some lingering ache and tiredness from the boot-camp exams. But his young body was adapting quite well, he glanced at the darkened room around him, the S.P. cadets were supposed to wake at the same early time as before but Cloud’s adult mind had already adjusted his subconscious sleep schedule and he woke a good 20 minutes before the others. Sliding out of bed he stretched carefully, assessing the points of strain before taking the time to stretch and massage the worst of the stiffness out. He was already in the showers before the Shout went out for S.P. recruits to get out of bed. Each of them had been given two new uniforms, and so, freshly showered and dressed smartly in his new indigo outfit; Cloud couldn’t help the extra bounce that entered his steps. He met back up with his roommates before the entire group proceeded to the breakfast hall. They were supposed to be a “group”, unless they were in separate classes, or on free time, they were supposed to act more or less as a unit. At least, that’s what their superior officers had explained, in actuality it was a test, … Cloud knew this, a very complex test to calculate loyalties and long-term teamwork. Telling the other cadets wouldn’t help them, it would only make them nervous and paranoid, so the blonde wisely kept the knowledge to himself. 

“You said your name was Cloud right?” One of his ‘squad-mates’ interrupted the ex-Warrior’s musings, he blinked once before smiling at the lad before him, the boy had tousled-looking brown hair and hazel eyes, a leanly muscular build, he looked about 15. 

“Yeah that’s right.” Cloud affirmed, he thought back to the previous night, and was surprised when the memory was indistinct, never-the-less he managed to pull the boys name from his mind. “You’re Gavin, right?” the boy nodded back. 

“I heard about your exams…” Gavin continued, “You really impressed the instructors, they’re saying it’s miraculous you’re even managed to finish!” Cloud chuckled,

“I wasn’t sure I’d finish either.” 

“Why do you want to be in SOLDIER so bad?” Gavin settled closer, his eyes curious, just past the boy, Cloud saw that he’d garnered the attention of a few of his other squad-mates as well. He stifled another chuckle, pausing for a moment to consider what he should tell them, eventually he settled for the obvious.

“It’s been my dream, … y’know… seeing all those news clippings with General Sephiroth and the others…”

Gavin laughed, “So you’re a Seph-fan eh? That explains a lot. Well it’s nice to meet you! Welcome to squad Sekhmet!”

“Uh… what?” Cloud blinked several times, staring at the boy in confusion, “Sekhmet??”

Gavin beamed, “Yeah, Squad Sekhmet! … it’s a tradition to give your squad a name when you join SOLDIER Prep. And of course, we want the awesome lion that can beat down Wutai’s Leviathan!”

Cloud gawked, he hadn’t remembered any such tradition… then as he thought about the name they’d chosen he clapped one hand over his mouth, trying and failing to stifle his snickers. Gavin’s face fell, and a few other boys looked affronted, 

“What?” Another boy chirped, “It’s a good name! Sekhmet is a powerful God!”

“Goddess!” Cloud choked, “Sekhmet is a Godd-ESS.” He dissolved into giggles, “Powerful for sure, but definitely female!” His entire squad looked stunned, 

“What?” another blonde squawked in startlement, “Sekhmet is a GIRL?? … but…. But…… we already registered the name!” 

Cloud howled, slapping the table at the looks on his team-mates faces, “We’ll pray to her in battle then!” He gasped, “Claim her as our patron! … HO and ONWARD SOLIDERS of Sekhmet!” He laughed so hard he actually fell off the bench. 

Cloud found out later that it had been young Wyatt who had chosen the name, a burly boy with short-cropped black hair and pale grey eyes. He’d taken the time to browse through mythological deities without actually checking out the details. The unfortunate lad might have been the subject of ire after the Squad learned the details of their new “name” … had it not been for Cloud’s outburst. Instead, a couple of boys had taken to sending dark looks his way whenever their squad was introduced by it’s full registered title. It probably didn’t help that Cloud snickered every time it came up.

As new SOLIDER Prep. Cadets, all of the boys were enlisted in the same classes, so to start off with they all had the same curriculum. The first class of the day was weapons training. So when they were finished with breakfast they all marched into the training room, a large and very open room with wooden floors and heavy mats. A rack with wooden swords ran along one end of the long room, and locked metal cabinets sat next to the doors. As per their instructions Squad Sekhmet lined up in along the center of the mats. While they were waiting for their instructor, Gavin, who had placed himself next to Cloud, leaned towards the blonde,

“Hey, … I’m sorry we didn’t ask you about the name… I mean … we should have checked with you first before registering it.” The brunette looked honestly guilty, and for a moment Cloud broke position to pat him reassuringly on the shoulder, 

“No, no! It’s fine, I actually like it! There’s no way I’ll forget our squad name with this one!” Cloud grinned at him, ignoring the skeptical looks of the other boys in line. Wyatt looked sulky, and another boy, one Cloud now remembered was named “Logan” looked furious. It made his green eyes blaze beneath his dirty-blonde hair. But Cloud didn’t have time to ponder this as the door opened in that moment and he found himself thoroughly distracted. 

A young man entered the room, he didn’t look much older than the S.P. Cadets themselves, just about 16, (a year older than the average boy in Sekhmet), with messy black hair that reached his shoulders, and bearing the standard attire and sword of a SOLDIER 3rd Class, he strode into the room, his face almost completely obscured by a stack of papers pressed to his nose, Cloud was glad for the papers, because had Zack been looking at him he would have seen the absolutely dumb-founded expression on the short blonde teenager’s face. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to him that going back in time meant Zack would be ALIVE. It took him several moments to put his emotions in control, but thankfully the SOLDIER never looked up. 

“Hello, My name is Zackary Fair, and I will be teaching this class…” Zack’s voice, much higher pitched than Cloud remembered it, intoned from behind his paper shield… “I am a SOLDIER 3rd class and as such I am qualified to teach you the basics of swordplay, Do not read this paper aloud in front of your class, study the materials ahead of time so that you might be prepared, this instructional material written by Angeal…” All of Cloud’s efforts to school his features failed, he gawked at his old friend, the other boys in line were already sniggering, and when Zack’s face suddenly snapped up and flushed in embarrassment, Cloud was hard-pressed not to join them.

“Ah… Oops… I mean…” Zack rubbed the back of his head sheepishly with one hand, dropping his other arm, which still held the stack of papers, to his side. “Anyways, …um, I’m Zack, this is the first time I’ve been asked to teach, but I’m just a part-time instructor. … Um… It’s supposed to be part of my training or something to train all of you, but you’ll also have an experienced instructor instead of me the rest of the week. So … uh, … go easy on me okay?”

Another round of chuckles and Cloud couldn’t help but grin. He’d had no idea that Zack had taught classes! What an unexpected treat! He was fighting back foolish smiles the whole time Zack spoke, he followed instructions with only half of his attention, grabbing one of the wooden swords from the wall and returning to his position, the lines were spread out and Zack demonstrated the stances for sword-fighting. For a moment Cloud forgot what he was doing, and moved how instinct told him. … That was the exact moment when he was introduced to the floor mats for the first time. 

“Whoa!” Zack paused in his instructions and glanced at Cloud, “You okay kid?” Now it was Cloud’s turn to blush, staggering upright he nodded at his ‘instructor’, and took his place back in line as quickly as possible. It wasn’t quite fast enough, 

“Sir,…” the boy named Logan interjected, “Private Strife only barely passed the physicals Sir, he probably won’t be able to keep up.” Zack paused, shuffling uncomfortably, 

“Um… really?... ah… well …” his intense blue gaze flitted between Cloud and Logan a few times, before finally settling on the smaller boy, “You think you’ll be alright ,… uh… Private Strife?” Cloud quickly nodded, and was grateful when Zack returned to his lesson without pressing the issue. 

The rest of the class turned out to be one continuous session of humiliation for Cloud, even when he tried to ignore Zack and focus on his sword-work, he just couldn’t seem to perform even the most basic of maneuvers. He knew swordplay like the back of his hand, which… he decided later, was exactly the problem. The backs of his hands were much different than he knew and he couldn’t seem to get the hang of what he was doing WRONG, … it all FELT right… every time he picked up the wooden sword, adopted a stance and lunged, he couldn’t feel anything wrong with his motions, but without fail he would trip or swing wide or somehow mess up the move (and his balance) every time. By the end of the session Cloud had several bruises and a split lip from falling on his face. But more than that, he’d felt wounded every time Zack’s blue eyes would stare at him with concern. When the SOLDIER 3rd announced the end of class, Cloud was the first one to dart out of the room towards their next class, not even bothering to say goodbye to his ‘ex-friend’ first. 

The next class, thankfully, was “Extended History”, a subject Cloud knew quite well, and within the first hour he was banned from answering any questions the teacher posed. While he sat listening to the instructor, Cloud reviewed the Syllabus, the first progress exam was in a week, and Cloud would probably be able to test out of this class by then. History passed in a blur, after the teacher had ascertained that Cloud was on top of his work, he was left to his own devices until the bell. 

After that Squad Sekhmet slogged back to the mess hall. Lunch consisted of steak-bites and steamed vegetables, after snagging a large bottled water Cloud took his food to his Squad’s table and munched thoughtfully, pondering whether or not having Zack as an instructor might change his plans. It wasn’t until he was jostled by one of his table-mates that Cloud realized an argument had started between the other boys. Further inspection showed that the other older “Squads” were starting to watch the display. 

“That SOLDIER 3rd is an amateur” Logan was saying, “I heard he was supposed to be this great prodigy, but he’s just a moron!”

“You can’t say that about SOLDIERs!” Gavin growled, his face turning red with fury, “Anyone who’s made 3rd class can no doubt hold his own! He was teaching just fine!”

“Who knows? He might have been decent if Strife hadn’t been interrupting the class by tripping every five minutes.” Gavin seemed to turn even redder, much to Cloud’s surprise, but as the brunette opened his mouth to further protest, Cloud decided to step in, 

“Hey, sorry about that.” He smiled at Logan apologetically, “I’ll try not to embarrass our group or anything okay?” Logan blinked several times as the hint behind Cloud’s words sank in; he frowned, the expression pulling his already squarish face into harsh angular lines. He clenched his meaty hands once or twice before settling back down into his seat. Gavin simply looked confused, he glanced between Logan and Cloud as if asking for an answer, but the larger boy was silent, and Cloud had already gone back to his meal. 

After lunch, the boys were shown to “Calisthenics”, all of the boys were quite familiar with the standard exercise regimes by now, more Push-ups, pull-ups, squats and lunges, this class was taught by an Officer Cloud wasn’t familiar with, but his bellowing instructions were so similar to their boot-camp Sergeant that he’d had to stare at the man to ensure the two weren’t related. At least THESE exercises Cloud didn’t have to think about quite so much anymore, they weren’t easy, he was panting and exhausted by the time it was done, but compared to the exams it was a relief to do the standard workouts. 

The last class of the day was another study class. This one was “Military Strategy”, and Cloud settled into this class with a happy sigh. While his bunk-mates struggled to follow the teacher, Cloud just listened, this also wasn’t a new subject, and Cloud felt a pang of regret when he remembered he’d probably get to test out of this class too within a week or two, but as for the moment, he was simply enjoying the “refresher”. 

Cloud lay in his bunk that night with mixed feelings, he’d discovered, over the course of the day, that being in this young body had degraded his memory. His older self had possessed a nearly photographic memory, he’d been able to recall small details whenever and where-ever he needed them, but this had apparently been a side-effect of whatever Hojo had done to him. With his young, and unaltered body, his mind just didn’t retain information he didn’t try to memorize. … Like the names of his bunk-mates. For whatever reason, his old memories were just as crisp as always… a paradox to be certain. … but that phenomenon aside, he was still achingly behind in all his physical courses. … His swordplay during Weapons training had been mortifying. Shelke and Vincent hadn’t foreseen this possibility, and already it posed a mystifying conundrum to Cloud. How could he relearn all of that swordplay? Zack hadn’t been able to figure out what was going wrong. His stance had been fine, when he moved slow it was accurate. … With a sigh Cloud rolled over and closed his eyes, tomorrow, he’d figure out some plan to overcome this obstacle. 

\--------------------------

**Author's Note:**

> Hey There! Some of you may recognise this as the same story posted by "Illusor Meaneld" on Fanfiction.net
> 
> No worries, that's all me. ;) ... I go by "Jianre-M" on DeviantArt where this story is also posted. 
> 
> anyways, this is my first foray into Ao3, so I'm a little new at all the different features. Just let me know if you think there's different tags or warnings that should go on this fic. ... otherwise, Enjoy!


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